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From Wise Up by Karen Duffy

This is an excerpt from Wise Up: Irreverent Enlightenment from a Mother Who’s Been Through It reproduced by kind permission of the author, Karen Duffy, and her publisher, Seal Press.


Stoicism is a good and faithful companion. When you’re alone, it offers good company. When you’re ambitious, it inspires self-discipline. When you’re lazy, it motivates action. When you’re fortunate, it reminds you to be grateful and moderate. When you’re suffering, it teaches you to dig deep and be resilient. When you are anxious and fearful, it gives you the knowledge that you have the guts to carry on.

Anxiety and fear want to protect you from harm. In keeping you from engaging the tests you face, they also keep you from the good things in life.

Karen Duffy

Donald Robertson, the best-selling author and noted Stoic philosopher, has a particularly sharp insight: “Worry is a horror story we tell ourselves where we exaggerate the probability, imminence, and severity of a perceived threat and minimize our ability to cope with it.” Anxiety and fear want to protect you from harm. In keeping you from engaging the tests you face, they also keep you from the good things in life.

Wise Up by Karen Duffy
Wise Up by Karen Duffy

Courage is not a limited resource. In a pinch, you can borrow it. Be inspired by others. Borrow a philosopher’s courage, or your mother’s. You can borrow courage from the wisdom of Epictetus or the valor of Theodore Roosevelt. Your father or your friends can all lend you courage. They’ve all been tested. They’ve all faced huge obstacles. You can borrow courage from your teammates, who are prepared to mix it up with the other guys to protect their goalie. You can repay the loan by letting others borrow from you.

Don’t confuse borrowing courage with giving up your belief in your own decisions. You can try to avoid tough challenges by allowing other people to tell you what to do. Coaches, parents, teachers, and friends all have wisdom to share. Do not lose sight of your own wisdom. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Look well into yourself, there is a source of strength which will always spring up if you will look.” Courage is thinking for yourself.


This is an excerpt from Wise Up: Irreverent Enlightenment from a Mother Who’s Been Through It reproduced by kind permission of the author, Karen Duffy, and her publisher, Seal Press.

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